3-Minute Expanding Your Space

Time needed: 3 minutes (60 seconds each)

Setting: When you’ve been making yourself small

Purpose: Reclaiming space you deserve to occupy

Notice Your Contraction (60 seconds)

What: Sit or stand and observe how you’re currently holding your body. Notice if shoulders curve inward, chest collapses, you take up minimal space, voice gets quieter, or you physically shrink in rooms. Ask yourself: Where have I been making myself smaller? At work? In relationships? In meetings? At home? Name one place you’ve been contracting to accommodate others.

Notice: Physical tightness, habit of apologising for existing, automatic deference, where you disappear yourself

Why: Awareness of contraction is first step to expansion, reveals patterns of self-diminishing, connects physical and emotional space

Physical Expansion (60 seconds)

What: Deliberately take up more physical space right now. Stand if sitting. Stretch arms wide and up. Roll shoulders back and down. Lift chest. Plant feet wider. Take a full breath into belly. Speak one sentence aloud at full volume: I deserve to take up space. Feel yourself occupying more room. Hold this expanded posture for remaining time.

Notice: Discomfort with visibility, fear of being too much, relief in expansion, strength in claiming space

Why: Physical expansion signals nervous system you are allowed space, breaks contraction pattern, embodies self-permission

One Space Claim (60 seconds)

What: Choose one way you will hold bigger space for yourself today. Examples: Speak your idea in the meeting without apologising first. Sit at the table not the edge. Use your full lunch break. Say no without over-explaining. Take up your fair share of conversation. Stop minimising your achievements. End sentences without question marks. State preferences clearly. Exist without shrinking.

Notice: What feels scary about claiming space, who you’ve been accommodating by staying small, what becomes possible with expansion

Why: Converts awareness into action, practices boundary of deserved space, builds capacity for self-advocacy

Closing: Say “I am allowed to take up space”

Notice: How expansion feels different from contraction

Why: Anchors permission to exist fully

Truths About Space:

You deserve space without earning it. Taking up space is not selfish. Making yourself small does not make you good. Others’ comfort is not your responsibility. Your needs matter as much as theirs. Visibility is not vanity. Claiming space threatens those who benefit from your smallness.

Signs You’ve Been Contracting:

Apologising for existing or having needs. Speaking softly or trailing off. Taking up minimal physical space. Deferring to others automatically. Minimising your contributions. Editing yourself constantly. Seeking permission for basics. Disappearing in groups. Making yourself convenient.

What Holding Bigger Space Looks Like:

Speaking at normal volume without apology. Taking your fair turn in conversation. Occupying space your body needs. Stating opinions without hedging. Saying no clearly. Asking for what you need. Existing without shrinking. Being visible without shame. Taking up your allocation of resources.

Who Benefits From Your Smallness:

Those who want all the space. People uncomfortable with your power. Systems that require your silence. Those who prefer you accommodating. Anyone threatened by your full presence. Structures that depend on your compliance.

Why You Started Contracting:

Safety in invisibility. Learned it was good to be small. Punished for taking space. Rewarded for accommodating. Told you were too much. Made to feel burden. Survival strategy that worked once. Pattern from childhood or trauma.

Permission to Expand:

You can take up space and be kind. Claiming space does not harm others. Your bigness is not someone’s smallness. The right people celebrate your expansion. Discomfort in others is not your problem. You were never meant to shrink. Full presence is your birthright.

Expansion Practice:

Notice daily where you contract. Expand physically first. Speak without apologising. Take your space literally. Stop editing yourself small. Let others adjust to your size. Build expansion gradually. Celebrate each space claim.

Common Fears:

People will think I’m too much. I’ll be seen as difficult or aggressive. I’ll take up too much room. Others will be uncomfortable. I’m being selfish. I don’t deserve this space. Who am I to claim space?

Reframes:

Let people adjust to your full presence. Assertive is not aggressive. You’re claiming fair space not all space. Their discomfort is not your emergency. Self-advocacy is healthy. You deserve space by existing. You are exactly who should claim your space.

Daily Space Claims:

Sit at centre of table not edge. Use confident voice volume. State needs without hedging. Take full breaks without guilt. Contribute ideas without apology. Occupy physical space your body needs. Exist without permission seeking.