5-Minute New Connection Courage

Time needed: 5 minutes (90-90-120 seconds)

Setting: Before or during opportunity to meet someone new

Purpose: Building confidence and openness for meaningful new conversations

Pre-Connection Preparation (90 seconds)

What: Before approaching someone new:

- Take three deep breaths to settle nerves

- Remind yourself “Everyone has something interesting to share”

- Set gentle intention like “be curious” or “listen well”

- Notice one genuine thing you could appreciate about this person

- Let go of needing to impress or be impressive

Notice: Any social anxiety or stories about rejection, what happens when you approach with curiosity rather than performance

Why: Reduces social pressure, shifts focus from self to other, creates authentic connection foundation

Conversation Engagement (90 seconds)

What: During initial conversation:

- Ask one genuine question about their experience

- Share something real but appropriate about yourself

- Notice what you have in common or find interesting

- Listen for what matters to them

- Allow natural pauses without rushing to fill them

Notice: Where you feel most relaxed in conversation, what creates genuine connection, when you’re truly listening versus planning what to say next

Why: Builds conversational confidence, creates mutual engagement, develops authentic relating skills

Connection Integration (120 seconds)

What: After conversation ends:

- Acknowledge one thing you learned or enjoyed

- If appropriate, suggest future connection

- Thank them for the conversation

- Reflect on what worked well in the interaction

- Notice any assumptions that were challenged

Notice: What made the conversation satisfying, how new perspectives affected you, any surprise discoveries about the person or yourself

Why: Reinforces positive connection experiences, builds confidence for future conversations, develops relationship skills

Closing: Appreciate yourself for reaching out to someone new

Notice: How new connections affect your energy and perspective

Why: Builds motivation for continued social courage

Tips:

- Start with low-stakes conversations

- Focus on being interested rather than interesting

- Ask follow-up questions about their answers

- Share something genuine when appropriate

- Remember most people appreciate friendly interaction