5-Minute “How Are You?” Reset
Time needed: 5 minutes (90-90-120 seconds)
Setting: When noticing automatic “busy” responses
Purpose: Shifting from busy identity to present awareness
Busy Pattern Recognition (90 seconds)
What: Reflect on recent “How are you?” exchanges:
- Notice how often you say “busy/crazy/hectic”
- Ask: “What am I avoiding by saying busy?”
- Consider: “What’s underneath the busyness?”
- Observe any anxiety when not claiming busy status
- Breathe while sitting with non-busy identity
Notice: Attachment to busy as identity, fear of seeming unimportant, what busy protects you from
Why: Builds awareness of automatic responses, questions busyness as badge, creates space for choice
Present Moment Inventory (90 seconds)
What: Check in with actual current experience:
- “Right now, in this moment, how am I?”
- Notice physical sensations without story
- Identify one emotion present now
- Recognize one thing going well
- Name something you’re curious about today
Notice: Difference between busy story and present reality, what’s actually happening now, richness beyond busy
Why: Anchors in immediate experience, builds authentic self-awareness, expands identity beyond productivity
Response Rehearsal (120 seconds)
What: Practice alternative responses to “How are you?”:
- “I’m noticing…”
- “I’m appreciating…”
- “I’m curious about…”
- “I’m feeling grateful for…”
- “I’m learning…”
Choose 2-3 that feel genuine and practice saying them
Notice: How present-focused responses feel in your body, what you want to share about real experience
Why: Creates new neural pathways, enables authentic connection, reduces reflexive busy responses
Closing: Set intention for next “How are you?” interaction
Notice: What you actually want to share about your life
Why: Prepares for genuine connection
Tips:
- Start with safe people
- Allow “I don’t know” as answer
- Notice others’ relief when you’re not busy
- Be curious about others’ real experience
- Let go of impressive responses