5-Minute Authentic Positivity Practice
Time needed: 5 minutes (90-90-120 seconds)
Setting: When wanting genuine uplift without denial
Purpose: Building real positivity while honoring full experience
Reality First (90 seconds)
What: Start with honest acknowledgment:
- Name one difficult thing truthfully
- Notice how it feels in body
- Say “This is hard AND I’m here”
- Validate your experience without fixing
- Give yourself permission to struggle
Notice: Relief in naming reality, where honesty lives in body, difference between acknowledging and wallowing
Why: Grounds positivity in truth, prevents emotional bypassing, honors complexity
The Difference: Toxic positivity denies difficulty (“Just be grateful!”). Authentic positivity acknowledges difficulty AND looks for resources (“This is hard AND I have support”).
Alongside Resources (90 seconds)
What: Hold difficulty and resources together:
- What’s one strength helping you cope?
- Who’s one person you could reach out to?
- What’s one thing still working in your life?
- Notice these exist alongside struggle
- Feel both-and rather than either-or
Notice: How holding both changes experience, where real hope emerges, capacity for nuance
Why: Builds genuine resilience, maintains emotional honesty, expands perspective
The Difference: Toxic positivity replaces negative with positive. Authentic positivity holds both as true simultaneously.
Realistic Forward (120 seconds)
What: Look ahead with eyes open:
- Imagine one small improvement possible
- Acknowledge obstacles that exist
- Identify one tiny action you could take
- Notice hope that includes reality
- Set intention that honors both
Notice: Quality of grounded hope, what feels sustainable, where genuine optimism lives
Why: Creates achievable positivity, maintains trust in self, supports real wellbeing
The Difference: Toxic positivity promises easy answers (“It will all work out!”). Authentic positivity acknowledges uncertainty while building agency (“I don’t know what will happen AND I can take small steps”).
Closing: Say “Both things are true”
Notice: Solidity of authentic positivity
Why: Integrates complexity with hope
Key Distinctions:
Toxic Positivity: Denies, dismisses, forces, shames negative feelings
Authentic Positivity: Acknowledges reality, validates struggle, finds resources alongside difficulty
Why This Matters for Wellbeing:
- Toxic positivity increases shame and isolation
- Authentic positivity builds genuine resilience
- Denial creates disconnection from self
- Honesty enables real healing
- Both-and thinking supports mental health
Tips:
- Always start with truth
- Use “AND” not “BUT”
- Allow full feelings
- Build from reality
- Trust complexity